Pimp my dating profile dating dating romances
When that didn’t work out, I decided to join the ranks of all the other hip kids and get myself an online dating profile. Pages and pages of questions, lists of my likes, dislikes, heck, everything but my underwear preference.
Once making it through that, I had to write my profile.
All names, aliases, and identifying details have been changed.
The address that emailed me, [email protected], sounded more like a newsletter listing Manhattan parties and Brooklyn festivals than a man searching for love.
It had been three months since I had applied for the job, and in the meantime I had forgotten that an “online dating surrogate” was a thing that could exist. Instead, I’d come across a post on Betabeat describing the Craigslist post and calling Josh the “World’s Biggest Douchebag.” I didn’t disagree — in his ad, he described himself a “successful entrepreneur” looking for a “pretty, thin, educated female in her 20s or 30s,” to help him comb through dating profiles and approach women, as he was simply too busy.
Why his middlewoman needed to be attractive and svelte was unclear, but the money was easy and the job was an irresistible conversation piece.
I would be delighted to be your online dating surrogate.I added fun personal tidbits, like how my dream date would involve a unicorn, football and Krispy Kreme, and I thought I was pretty cute, funny and there was no way anyone with a penis could resist me.My profile was practically looking virginal at this point.The guide isn't available for free, in fact, it was being sold for Bitcoins on a deep web marketplace.Bitcoin is cryptographic currency favoured by criminals as it allows semi-anonymous online transactions.
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Just like responding to an ad on Ok Cupid, I chose a picture of myself fifteen pounds lighter and put my best foot forward.